if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think your dad took our porno
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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