Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
