walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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