I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
