Duck Duck Cougar?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
