White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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