Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize