I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Do vagina's smell?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
