at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
