Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
