are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
