whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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