I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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