so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Are we still banned from the library?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
