how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
