is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
