...so i touched it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
