Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
