Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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