Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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