She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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