But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
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The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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