lets start a swedish sibling band together
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
