I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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