meet me or not, i'm out of control
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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