I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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