IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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