A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There's always time for handjobs
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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