I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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