let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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