So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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