HIV tests are more positive than that guy
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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