you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
