my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
