I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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