I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
