am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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