he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
