Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
