I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize