I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
