Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
