You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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