plz talk dirty to me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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