when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
