I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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