I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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