would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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