I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
