Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
