If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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