On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
