Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
