If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
