You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
