Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize