how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Semen is not good for contacts.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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