Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
my liver is dry heaving
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
