Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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