Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
